Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize