I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize