I want to walk on stilts...naked
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
