Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Damn victory sex feels great
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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