and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
