Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
oh god the rape fog is back!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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