I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize