I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
