dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
