Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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