..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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