Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
