My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
