Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
