We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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