his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
