umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
