Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize