i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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