Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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