i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
