I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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