we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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