The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
