We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he fucked my hip out of place.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
