What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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