Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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