He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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