we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
