im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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