She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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