Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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