You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
