Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
