Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I love you.
Bad choice
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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