Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
