My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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