our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
A bitchslap is in order.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
