I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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