Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
