kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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