Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
