We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
you had me at cake vodka
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
