yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
4 words: hood of his car
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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