I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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