I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
