i just made my gag reflex go away.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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