Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
