do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
