I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
