I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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