Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
