I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize