This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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