The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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