if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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