my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
What a dumb baby whore.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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