5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
