I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The adults are the big ones right?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
There's even glitter on my cock...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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