8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
