I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
