i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
They have beer where we have blood.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
