after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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