and she was petting her beer can
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize