This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
