Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
