and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
