Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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