Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
