I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
3pm strippers are depressing
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
