im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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