Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
