He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
