4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
