dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize