Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
