I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
