Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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