But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize