Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
