she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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