Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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