That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
