I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
