what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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