I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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